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The Art of Inbox Warfare, and How To Organize Any Space

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Main Topics  

Dan’s Topic: Sun Tzu & the Art of Inbox Warfare

We’ve had a few other listeners out there who have been struggling with their email inboxes lately, so I thought I’d take some time to give you some tips on how you can declare war on Inbox clutter and reclaim the calm to this part of your digital life.

The key to email management is the same as it is to physical things in your simple life: limit what you allow into your life. If your inbox is full of messages that don’t add value to your life, eliminate them now and put systems into place to eliminate them permanently.

Why do we get so much junk? Sometimes it’s just that your email was on a subscriber list that was sold to marketers. But it’s also affected by what type of things you sign up for. So, if you really want to cut down on junk email:

• Be a bit more careful who you give your email address to
• Signing up for every little contest or offering that comes along is like saying, “Please spam me!”
• Get over what’s called FOMO or the fear of missing out.
• There’s good info and junk info…bringing more junk info into your life doesn’t make your life better or more simple. It makes it cluttered and hectic. Trust me, you’re not missing out.

So, here are some steps you can take to shape a more simple email experience:

– Unsubscribe from newsletters, feeds, updates, lists and other streams that don’t enrich your life.  If there’s no link to unsubscribe, you shouldn’t be at all uncomfortable about marking the message as spam. Gmail has a built in function that marks the message as spam and automatically attempts to unsubscribe you from the sender’s list but you can also do it yourself by clicking the  little stop sign-shaped icon with an exclamation point inside in your Inbox panel.

– Another way to deal with unwanted emails is by using filters. Most email programs allow you to set filters to weed out messages based on your inputs.  You can easily set filters in the settings area of your Gmail account, or if you have an email message open in Gmail, just click the “More” button and choose “Filter Messages Like These”.  Then just follow the prompts.

 So that covers stopping the deluge of inbound emails. What about the “Occupy Inbox” movement that’s already camped on in your email? Here’s how to handle what you have right now in 3 Steps:

1-Pick the dozen or so emails in your inbox that must be handled now to avoid an emergency, overcharges, severe embarrassment, or a close relationship and deal with them now. That alone will leave you feeling better.

2- Make the rest of the not so urgent emails (and yes, for many people that numbers in the THOUSANDS) and put them in a temporary folder or Label (Gmail). You’ll deal with them later. This does 2 things… First, it gets what appears to be a major obstacle, stumbling block, and barrier to progress out of the way. Second, it allows you to set up new habits and systems.

3- Tackle that Temporary folder or Label full of old emails. If you have so many that you can’t tackle it in one sitting, pick a time, set a timer for 15 minutes, and go to battle. Make time in your schedule for the next session, and keep at it until you’ve dealt with all of them. BUT…big but here…NOT at the cost of your inbox. You’ve got to commit to staying on top of your inbox.

So, now that you’ve kindly asked the spammy squatters to move on and you have your Inbox back...let’s move on to those habits and skills. Here are some things to master for a solid email routine:

– Don’t Over-Do the Folders or Labels:  Keep it simple by trusting the search function in your email system. So, set up a few folders (called “Labels” in Gmail) that match the major areas of your life such as work, family, home, your passions, taxes, etc…and then just use the Archive function for the rest.

– Trust the Search Function: Gmail is especially great at this.

– Delete When You’re Done: if you’ve finished reading an email and have no reason to keep it, then delete it right away.

– Limit your Access: This one takes a lot of getting used to. Especially if you have a reputation for always being available…digitally, of course. Set your own terms on checking email. Tim Ferriss recommends in his book The Four Hour Workweek, not to check your e-mail the first thing in the morning, and only check it periodically throughout the day.

– Set Expectations for those you correspond with, especially if they’re used to your instant responses. Set an auto responder that you’re only checking emails twice a day and give options for emergencies such as “If this is an emergency, please call my cell.”  No need to give out your cell number as those close to you already likely have it.

– Send fewer emails yourself and write your emails to elicit complete responses versus volleys of emails (like the effective communication mentioned in Episode 10). For instance, when setting up an appointment, instead of asking “When are you available?” State in your email, “I can meet Monday morning between 9:00 and 11:00 or Tuesday between 2:00 and 4:15.  If neither of those times work for you, please send me 3 options for Wednesday through Friday in the morning after 9:00, but before 4:15.”

– Keep your messages simple. Short sentences and 3-4 sentences at most, if possible. If this is a “just catching up” email…consider whether a phone call, Skype call, or Facetime wouldn’t be more productive.

-Your Inbox shouldn’t be your To-Do List . Process everything that comes in to your inbox with the goal of touching it once. If it’s a to do, use the Task List in Gmail along with Google Calendar, Evernote, the Reminders function on your Mac, or some other task management system.

-Avoid sending e-mails if you can. If you’re having problems with too many e-mails, why continue to add to it?  Find ways to cut down on the e-mails you send and help others avoid the clutter in their inbox, too.

Managing your inbox is a continuous battle. So, I’ll recap this in combat terms using the Principles of War compiled from the likes of Sun Tzu, Clausewitz and other smart dead guys. So, in no particular order, here we go!

• Objective – Objective is defined as: Directing every operation toward a clearly defined, decisive and attainable objective.  A simple military example is “Take that hill and hold it!”.  For your email, your objective isn’t really “Inbox Zero” as some systems claim. That’s just a likely result. Your Objective is effective communication and your Inbox is one tool for that. Don’t beat yourself up if you have a couple untouched emails in your Inbox until you’re ready to deal with them. Focus on the “effective communication” aspect.

• Offensive – Seize, retain, and exploit the initiative. “Attack!”  Just like in sports, defense is great, but you have to take action to win. Seize control of your Inbox, folders, and email system, and capitalize on your momentum to maintain the offensive.

• Mass – In military ops, commanders strive to Mass the effects of overwhelming combat power at the decisive place and time. Commanders have many different weapons systems at their disposal. They bring air, land, and sea assets together at decisive places and times to defeat the enemy. That’s Mass. For your email system, this means “batch your tasks.” We talk about batching tasks a lot because it works. Interruptions kill momentum gained in the offensive and waste your time.

• Economy of Force – Employ all combat power available in the most effective way possible; allocate minimum essential combat power to secondary efforts. In war, like in life, assets are finite. You can’t use all the tools in your toolkit all at once or when a lesser tool can accomplish the task. Your personal effort is your combat power when dealing with your Inbox. Maximize the use of automated systems such as the filters we talked about to minimize your personal effort, while maximizing the effectiveness of your system.

• Maneuver – Place the enemy in a position of disadvantage through the flexible application of combat power. Essentially, lining up to “take the shot.” Again, filters can go a long way with maneuver, but think of your Folders or Labels in Gmail as a way to compartmentalize your info, and focus your attention where it needs to be.

• Unity of Command – For every objective, seek unity of command and unity of effort. We’ve all been in situations where we wonder “who’s in charge here?” Who do I listen to? Unity of Command and Effort are great concepts to use when you share email for tasks or have an assistant that helps you with your emails. For instance, in a family setting, whoever does the bills should get the emails regarding the bills. In a work setting, your secretary or assistant should have clear guidelines for acting on your behalf or highlighting messages for your personal attention. The Four Hour Work Week has great examples for this.

• Security – Never permit the enemy to acquire unexpected advantage. Of course there’s physical security, but one area that’s stressed in military circles is OPSEC or operational security. In sports, a boxer tries not to telegraph their punches, and poker players keep have a poker face to hide their intentions. At the same time, they try to read their opponents and look for their “tell”…a sign that gives away the opponent’s intentions. The enemy in our case is unnecessary information or digital clutter. Of course, be sure to apply all pertinent security methods for your email by using strong passwords, etc, but also think of this as securing your email address from those who might try to exploit it, and you, with spam, phishing attempts, and malware.

• Simplicity – The most effective military plans are simple. The goal with this principle is to prepare clear, uncomplicated plans and concise orders to ensure thorough understanding.  There’s an adage called “Napoleon’s Corporal” that describes how Napoleon would have a corporal sit in during battle plan briefings to see if he understood the plan. If the Corporal understood, Napoleon figured, then commanders would understand. This best applies to your Folder or Labels system. Once again, if you’re using a product like Gmail, trust your email program’s search function.

and finally, we have..

• Surprise – Strike the enemy at a time or place or in a manner for which he is unprepared. OK, this one might be a bit of a stretch, but wait until you see the surprise on the asker’s face when you decline to give your email address to someone who is trying to collect it. It’s precious! If you’re uncomfortable saying NO at first, have a decoy email address you can give. Look, you’re just protecting yourself, so no harm-no foul there. But eventually, it’s best to just take a stand and say, “I don’t give that out. I’m sure you understand.”

So that’s it. A little Inbox Boot Camp so you can liberate your email from the enemy.

Edit & Forget It Update!

The spreadsheets were sent out to everyone who signed up for the Challenge at SimpleLifeTogether.com, so if you signed up and haven’t received them, drop us an email.

We’ll be setting up a private Facebook group for those doing the Edit & Forget It Challenge. You can share your successes, struggles, post pictures, etc.

• Only members of the group will be able to see who’s in the group and what members post.
• I’ll send out a message to those who have signed up for the Challenge already through SimpleLifeTogether.com telling them where to go on Facebook and request to join the Group.
• If the email you signed up for the Challenge was different from your Facebook name, I may send you a direct email confirming it’s you.
• This Group will be for Edit & Forget It members only. People who sign up after 24 January 2013 will automatically get an invite to the private Facebook page after they sign up.
• There’s certainly no requirement to join the Facebook group, it’s just another way to be involved in the Challenge. If Facebook isn’t your thing…no worries at all.
• It’s not too late to join the Challenge, so if you’re ready to edit 2013 things from your life, sign up on the website. We have people signing up every day and we’d love to have you join us!

Vanessa’s Topic: How To Organize Any Space

Since I’ve already talked about How Clutter Affects Your Life (Episode 10), The Benefits of Organizing and Having Less (Episode 4) and Why We Can’t Let Go of Our Clutter (Epidsode 3), I figured it was time share with you some tips on how to organize any space!

I won’t have time to go into a lot of detail but if you want a more in-depth explanation of the process you can check out my Organize Any Space Series at SimpleLifeTogether.com/organizeanything. I have 6 posts in the series that discusses each step in the process with a finale post where I organize a kitchen using the step-by-step process on how to organize it.

I’m just going to quickly outline the process on how you can organize any space but before you start I recommend:

– Start small.  Pick a small area like a small junk drawer, nightstand, or one section of your closet.  Whatever the project…pick just a small one.

– Mark your calendar. Yes…set a date for your organizing project. You’re more likely to get it done if you set a date.

– Give yourself adequate time to organize your space.  Since I recommend starting small give yourself at least 2 – 3 hours. It may not take that long, but you’ll be surprised how long some projects take.

– Limit interruptions. Try not to answer your phone, voicemails, emails, etc.  And if you can do it while the kids are out….that would be awesome!

There are several different organizers that have their own terminology on how to organize, but the basic steps and  process are all pretty much the same.  So being the uber simple gal that I am…I just have a 4 step process: N…A…P…O (ironically it’s the same acronym as the National Association of Professional Organizers…dorky I know):

1. Determine your NEEDS

2. ASSESS your space

3. PURGE or PARE DOWN your space

4. ORGANIZE your space

STEP 1 – DETERMINE YOUR NEEDS: (Please don’t skip over this step)  

– You really need to have a clear understanding of what your needs are, otherwise your efforts will be in vain. 

– Be sure to get the family and other household members involved.   

– Envision the space.  What is your end state?  How do you want it to look?  How do you want it to function?  How do you want to feel?

STEP 2 – ASSESS YOUR SPACE: (Don’t skip this step either)

– Identify what’s working for you. 

– Identify what’s not working for you.

– You’ll also want to evaluate your habits and natural tendencies. 

– Determine what’s in the space that shouldn’t be there. 

– Determine what is essential to you. 

– Map out your space by taking measurements and identifying limitations.

– Take “before” pictures of the space.

STEP 3 – PURGE/or PARE DOWN: This is the hands on editing phase of organizing your space…the part that’s the most difficult and frustrating but if you follow these steps it’ll make it a lot easier:

– Gather your supplies (paper, post it notes, markers, trash bags, 4-8 bins  for sorting ,  a folding table to give you a flat surface to work on,  and maybe even gloves for messier work like in the garage).

– Set up your sorting bins, bags and/or piles. 

KEEP: anything you love, use and need.  (Note:  this may require several additional  piles because you’re going to break your “keep items” down into general “like” categories like: office supplies, paperwork, kitchen utensils, electronics, toys, etc. Don’t get too specific…keep the piles general for now…you can fine tune later).

TRASH: items that are broken, soiled, ripped or beyond repair (use a trash bag)

RECYCLE: self explanatory but check with your local recycling center to see what they’ll take (use trash bag)

DONATE: don’t donate anything that is in poor condition. You know, things that you wouldn’t give  to friends or family (use trash bag or box).

DON’T KNOW: stuff you’re having a hard time of letting go of or figuring out what to do with.  Don’t spend too much time on these right now…you can decide later what to do with them.

ELSEWHERE / RETURN: belong in another room, belong to someone else, or need to be returned.

– Start sorting…pull everything out of the space one item at a time and decide which bin to put it in.

– Start with flat surfaces first to free up your tables and counter space then tackle the cabinets and drawers and so on.

– Move from one side of the room to the other. You’ll have a better idea of how much you’ve gotten done as you go.

– Once you’ve finished sorting, go back to your DON’T KNOW PILE: If you don’t love it, need it or use it you can probably let it go.  But if you’re still having trouble, I recommend going to Episode 3’s shownotes for other helpful questions to guide your decision.

– Remove all your bins and bags except for your “KEEP” items from the area immediately! Don’t give yourself the opportunity to change your mind.

 STEP 4 – ORGANIZE: This is where you start to put things back in the space. Here are some things to keep in mind as you organize:

– Sort like items together:  Remember that KEEP Pile? You can break those general categories of things down even further. For example your kitchen pile can now be broken down into glasses, bakeware, pots and pans, utensils, dinnerware, food, bowls, etc.  You can do the same for your clothes, toys and office supplies.

– Create zones in your space and place your items accordingly. For example the kitchen; you can establish a cooking zone near the stove, a baking zone near the oven, a coffee/beverage zone near the sink or fridge and a serving zone/dinnerware near the dishwasher.

– In your zones, place frequently used items within arms reach.  Everyday items should be easy to grab.

– Seldom used items up high, down low or in back of your frequently used items.

– Think safety for yourself and the kids. Delicates, cleaning supplies, medications and heavy items should be put in areas that are safe).

– Don’t forget about vertical storage.  You can install racks on walls, behind door, or inside cabinets. You can use the side of a refrigerator or metal filing cabinet to hang magnetic jars and baskets.

– Use containers and containers within containers.  I always recommend shopping from your own home and using what you have first (you may have actually freed up some containers after you edited).  But if you want to update your space with newer, nicer, or more efficient products by all means go ahead, just make sure you measure twice…and purchase once!

– Now you should label everything you can! I highly recommend getting yourself a good label maker like the Brother P-Touch…it makes such a difference.  You can label shelves, containers, lazy susans, drawers, etc. It helps to learn where things go…and where to return them!!!!

– Maintain your space by establishing rules and routines. Refer to Episode 2.

So that’s how you organize any space: Determine your Needs, Assess your space, Purge your space and Organize it…then  Repeat because organizing is usually cyclical ;o)

 The “Thing” Segment:

Vanessa: Never Too Old To Learn

My Thing this week was being inspired by my one of my clients to never stop learning. I have a 68 year old client who in the past 3-4 years has completed her Bachelors in Nursing as well has her Master’s Degree…and is now working on her PhD. Dang!  She inspired me to pursue an Interior Decorating certification as well as my certification as a Certified Professional Organizer .  Yay!

Dan:  Focusing a Little Harder on the Fitness Pillar

Well, if you listened to Episode 1 or looked around our site, you know we focus our lives on our five pillars of Faith, Family, Finances, Fitness and Future. Well, with the holidays, my Vegas trip, too much sitting at a desk, the weather and (insert incredibly lame excuse here)…I think I’ve been too lax lately and my body is sending me signals to make some changes.  So I’m going to re-focus on my fitness and health by  doing more juicing, walking and biking.  So, that’s my thing…

Feedback: We’ve been getting flooded with great feedback and here’s just a sample:

Chef Toni from DinnerMadeSimple.com. wrote:”Just what I was looking for! A little direction on how live life more simply. Love Dan and Vanessa’s take on all this. From technology to finances to organizing…they’ve got it all covered and I can’t wait for more episodes! ”

Emily from TheCrunchyCoach.com wrote: “Every once in a while, I run into a new podcast that I wish was an old one so I could keep on listening to archived episodes every day for the next couple of months. Yours is one! Hurry up and get the next one out, lol! ” Turns out Emily started the Edit and Forget It Challenge before we even started it!  She’s gotten rid of a ton of stuff!

Vanessa was listening to the Mommy’s Cocktail Hour podcast and low and behold they mentioned SimpleLifeTogether as one of their Fabulous Finds for the week! How cool! So, thanks to all the ladies over at MommysCocktailHour.com!

And Nick from SPNT.tv left a terrific comment on iTunes for us. Nick is looking to simplify his life this year, too, and started listening to us on Episode 1 and he’s on his way! Well, thanks, Nick, and we’re certainly glad to be able to help out along the way!

Closing Thoughts:

We’re blessed to be able to share some ideas and some of our experiences as we journey toward a simpler life in the modern world and we’d like to hear some of your experiences, too.

It sure would help if you you took just 2 minutes to review the show in iTunes. The more positive reviews we get, the higher the show is in the listings and that’s how people find us.

If you like the show, please subscribe and consider giving us a good review in iTunes. It takes less than 2 minutes to review the show in iTunes and that’s the best way for people to find us.

• In iTunes just search for Simple Life Together…
• Click on the green “Simple Life Together” picture…
• Scroll down to Customer Reviews where you’ll see “Write a Review”
• Click on”Write a Review”
• Write your review…
• Click “Submit”! It’s as easy as that and it really helps to get the word out about the the show.  Thanks for doing that.  

If you know someone else who might enjoy the journey too, send them a link to SimpleLifeTogether.com

Connect with us on Twitter, Dan is @DanielHayes and Vanessa is @GetSimplifized. You can find links to our Twitter and Google Plus profiles on the left side of the home page.

Be sure to leave comments below, send us a voicemail from the little microphone icon on the right side of the page, or you can go “old school” and email us!  Comments, questions, thoughts, ideas, suggestions…they’re all welcome and we’d love to hear from you!

So, here are the links we mentioned in the show:

The 4 Hour Workweek

Brother P-Touch Label Maker

Mommy’s Cocktail Hour

SPNT.tv

DinnerMadeSimple.com

SLT Podcast Episode 1

SLT Podcast Episode 2

SLT Podcast Episode 3

 SLT Podcast Episode 4

 

SLT Podcast Episode 10

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How Clutter Affects Your Life, & Secret (But Simple) Military Communication Techniques

Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and leave a review in the iTunes store! It helps others find the show! Thank you!

Special Announcement: Especially for listeners in and around San Antonio/Austin, TX

Our friend and colleague Karen Meade of Let’s Get Organizing will be hosting her annual Organize and Energize workshop. It’s on Saturday, January 19th, 2013 from 9:30 AM to 12:30 PM at TriPoint on North St Mary’s, in San Antonio, Texas. There’s a great lineup of speakers talking about organization, meal planning, health and fitness and Dan will be there talking about tech. For more information check out LetsGetOrganizing.com or Facebook.com/LetsGetOrganizing. Hope to see you there!

Main Topics  

Vanessa’s Topic: How Clutter Affects Your Life

So, what is clutter?  Here’s how some experts define it:

• Princeton University’s WordNet defines clutter as:
  • “a confused, multitude of things”
  • “to fill a space in a disorderly way”
  • “a confused, disorderly, jumble of things”
  • “filled or scattered with disorderly accumulation of objects or rubbish”
• Clutterers Anonymous defines clutter as:
  • “anything we don’t need, want, or use that takes our time, energy or space, and destroys our serenity”
• Clutter is more than piles and piles of stuff.
  • It’s a combination of new, old, unused, forgotten, misplaced, and emotionally (or coerced into being emotionally) “attached to” items.
• Clutter is more than just a physical item…clutter is also about how an item is or isn’t being used. For example, a magazine in-and-of itself isn’t clutter…it’s just a magazine.  But when that magazine hasn’t been read for two weeks, two months, or even a year and is just sitting on top of a stack of other magazines that are several years old, and that stack is on top of your desk preventing you from being able to use it…that’s when that magazine is now considered “clutter.”

So for the rest of this topic, let’s just consider clutter as “anything we don’t need, want, or use that takes our time, energy, space and serenity”

Examples of clutter:

• Things that are expired (food,  medicine and toiletries for example)
• Duplicate items (3 coffee makers, 4 vacuum cleaners, 3 punch bowls, 3 of the exact same North Face jackets…all the same color and style…you get the idea)
• Things that belong to someone else (stuff you’ve borrowed and never returned)
• Broken toys
• Broken dishes
• Broken appliances and tools
• Outgrown toys
• Clothes you’ve grown out of
• Knick knacks that don’t serve any purpose
• Gifts that…let’s face it…you never really liked  (“in a million years I wouldn’t be seen dead in this” kinds of gifts)
• Hand me downs or inherited items that you’ll never use
• Just in case items…for emergencies
• “Don’t know” (no idea why it’s there or how to use it…but darn it, I’m keeping it!)
• Stuff that causes safety concerns (pose a hazard such as fire or physical harm)
• Stuff that can cause health concerns…old food sitting around the house, trash lying around attracting bugs and rodents, etc.
• Obsolete / outdated papers
• Piles of papers and mail that have never been opened or are waiting to be opened and sorted

Other not-so obvious clutter items aren’t necessarily physical items, but impact your lifestyle

• Overcommitment
• Meaningless activity / duplication of effort (activity that is unfulfilling or serves no real purpose)
• Old resentments and ill feelings / unresolved issues
• Unsatisfying relationships
• Unsatisfying work (paid work, work at home, volunteer work, etc).
• Digital clutter (emails, photos, online documents)

So those are a few examples of what clutter is, but how do you know if clutter is affecting you?  

You see…the truth about clutter and accumulating more, is that eventually you’ll be overwhelmed by the physical clutter which in turn will overwhelm you emotionally in terms of stress, indecision, guilt and so on. Clutter slowly but steadily creeps into your home and sucks the life out of you.  It can affect both your mental and physical health.

 As Peter Walsh said in his book It’s All Too Much:

“Clutter robs you of far more than the space it occupies–it steals your life!”

So if you’re unsure if clutter is affecting your life, here are a few questions you can ask yourself:

• More often than not…are you embarrassed to have people over because of the state of your home?
• Do you have trouble finding things…your wallet, glasses, checkbook, keys, bills, etc?
• Have you missed paying your bills? Regardless of your economic states, one of the first questions I ask is if you’ve missed your payments.  Its usually not a matter of being able to pay the bill…it’s a matter of too much clutter and disorganization.
• Do you have rooms or items not being used for their intended purposes? (bed, table, desk, office…I’ve had clients that have used bathrooms or guest rooms/offices as storage closets).
• Do you like to bargain hunt and love getting a good deal on items at the store?
• Do you like to collect freebee items from conferences and workshops?
• Do you eat out a lot because it’s too difficult to use your kitchen at home to cook?
• Do you have more possessions than can reasonably fit in your home?
• Are others in your life affected by your clutter?
• Are your relationships strained because of the state of your home?

If you find yourself saying yes to many of these questions then clutter may be negatively affecting your life.
When clutter is controlling you instead of you controlling it…that’s probably a good sign to make a change.

So where do you start if you or someone you love needs help? (NOTE…website links are listed at bottom of these show notes)

• Educate yourself via books, magazines, podcasts, websites, etc.
• Take classes: Adult continuing education, certification courses, check out the National Association of Professional Organizers or NAPO…and other
• Professional organizations such as the Institute for Challenging Disorganization, Clutterers Anonymous (all have good information and resources)
• Or, Seek help from a professional organizer! (Some specialize in home, business, productivity, chronic disorganization and hoarding)

Now, of course I have an entire website: Get Simplifized.com, dedicated to getting organized and helping you control the clutter with TONS of written posts and videos…and I even offer virtual organizing and consultation, just click on the Virtual Organization tab at the top of the Get Simplifized website.

So you can check that out, but the fact of the matter is, there are tons of resources out there…it’s just a matter of taking the time to tap into them.

Dan’s Topic: Secret (But Simple) Military Communication Techniques

Communication should be so simple and natural, but often it’s not.  But, I think universally, effective communication is a common goal. Everyone who is a party in that communication has  responsibilities in that communication. But that doesn’t always happen. When we say that there’s a “breakdown in communication” more often than not it’s a case of someone not meeting their responsibilities in the communication process.

So, I thought I’d share a few techniques that can help simplify communication. You can use these at home, work, school…wherever.  If you think these help, let me know and I have a couple more that I be happy to share in another show! Now I’ll preface this right up front that these are techniques I learned long-long ago as part of my training and they served me well throughout my time in the military and when I was teaching at university.

The Sender-Message-Receiver-Feedback Model

There are 4 main actors in effective communication and if one of them is out of sync then there will likely be some breakdown, so you’ll have ineffective communication.

• The Sender is the one responsible for initiating the communication. Before the Sender attempts to communicate they should have a reasonable expectation that the message they send will be received. You know how sometimes kids will just start yelling “Mom!” from their room, with the door closed? Pretty frustrating, right? The Sender is also responsible for analyzing the receiving audience before they formulate their message to ensure the Message can be easily understood.

• The Message should be formed using the correct language, at the right education level, the right tone, culturally correct, situationally correct, ensure any jargon would be understood by the Receiver, etc. The Message should be clear and concise and in the proper form. Trying to reach someone in their car my mail makes no sense!

• The Receiver has responsibilities, too. They need to actively listen, not just hear, for effective communication to take place. If the Receiver is in a situation where communication is taking place, they’re expected to be an actively listening. Wearing earbuds in a classroom not only precludes the receiver’s ability to hear the message, it’s probably going to offend the sender and effective communication will be pretty unlikely. And the Receiver has one last and MAJOR responsibility. The last part of the sender-message-receiver-feedback equation is Feedback.

• Feedback tells the Sender that the message was received, and whether the Receiver understood it or not. How frustrating is it when you communicate with someone and all you get is a blank stare back? Or send a text or email that’s not responded to? Or leave a voicemail and never get a reply?  The receiver has the responsibility to provide feedback. If the receiver gives no feedback, the sender should assume that effective communicate didn’t take place, and the Sender should reformulate and resend the message or ask for feedback.

Giving Tasks or Directions Properly: The next technique is a foolproof way to make sure you give out tasks properly that include guidelines and expectations. We’ve all been in situations where we’re given a task and sometimes the task itself is vague or most likely, the expectations are vague.

A Poor (But Unfortunately, Typical) Example of Communication

Your spouse calls or leaves you a note that says “pick up some eggs.” That night your spouse gets home, goes to make the meal and oops! No eggs. You say “well I’m going shopping tomorrow.” “Well I needed them tonight!”

So obviously, the task was vague and the expectations were vague.

Here’s a solution that is so commonplace in the military that it’s taken for granted. It’s called  the:

Task-Condition-Standard-Time Model

Here’s what each one means:

• TASK: what needs to be done
• CONDITION: Your resources or the situation
• STANDARD: Self explanatory, but should be specific
• TIME: How much time you have to accomplish the task or when the task needs to be done (event driven)

So using the buying eggs example, let’s use the Task-Condition-Standard-Time model:

• TASK: Buy eggs
• CONDITION: Given time, availability, proximity, money, etc..
• STANDARD: Call if you can’t pick them up. Don’t get the white eggs, I want the big brown organic eggs
• TIME: I get home at 5:00 o’clock and I need them as soon as I get home today.

The Good Old Who-What-When-Where-Why-How Model (aka “5 Ws & How”)

This tried and true model is great for written or oral communication. If you’ve gotten away from this you may want to revive the habit. But add the necessary elements of Task-Condition-Standard-Time in there when applicable.

Example: Say you’re sending a party invitation… the 5W and How explain all the basics, but adding the Standard could sure help when it comes to things like the appropriate attire for the party. That could be an embarrassing thing to leave out…especially if it’s a costume party!

Bonus: And a quick tech tip to go along with it is if you’re a Gmail user, build one of those Canned Responses that Vanessa talked about in an earlier episode and then anytime you need that format, just pop it in!  Or, if you’re not a Gmail user, in virtually any email system you could just build a template for these communication techniques and just save it in your drafts to copy when needed.

So there you have it, two not-so-secret, but potentailly quite helpful, military tips, one reminder for the old school “5Ws and How” with military spin, and a quick tech tip. All to help you with more simple and effective communication. Again, if you think these help, let me know and I have a couple more that I be happy to share in a future episode, sound good?

The “Thing” Segment:

Vanessa: I love Quality!

I’ve mentioned that I’m a frugal gal, but there are a few things I don’t mind spending a little extra on….like my Vera Wang boots and Saddleback leather tote bag.  I buy them at a discount, but quality beats quantity almost every time!

Dan:  Spreadsheets in Google Docs

I don’t have lots of use for spreadsheets but when I do, I love the functionality of them in Google Docs or Drive. They keep track of all older versions and I can always restore to an earlier version. plus, both Vanessa and I can work on them at the same time and everything syncs! I like to use them for online forms, too! Super easy, they work essentially the same as an Excel spreadsheet. For power spreadsheet users they may not have all the functionality of an Excel sheets, but for people like me who still count with their fingers and toes, they’re great! You can even use the forms function for surveys, etc, on websites and in emails. I’m using them to track our stuff for the Edit & ForgetIt Challenge, too. They’re functional and simple…that’s why they’re my Thing this week!

Feedback:

Emily wrote on the website: “Found you through Cliff’s podcast – great first show, I look forward to catching up and then keeping up with it. You have inspired me to continue on with my own simple living podcast, that I recorded twice and then stopped, and have been waffling about whether to keep it going.

On iTunes, Mamabearny wrote: “Great tips to start 2013 out right! This is the first time I’ve listened to a podcast and I’m glad I listened to this one. It was a great use of time and the hosts provide great practical advice that can be implemented right away to help simplify your life.”

Closing Thoughts:

Once again, Happy 2013 and we hope this year is a great year for simplifying your life. If you haven’t started yet or have just been thinking about it, now is a great time to start. We’re blessed to be able to share some ideas and some of our experiences as we journey toward a simpler life in the modern world and we’d like to hear some of your experiences, too.

It sure would help if you you took just 2 minutes to review the show in iTunes. The more positive reviews we get, the higher the show is in the listings and that’s how people find us.

If you like the show, please subscribe and consider giving us a good review in iTunes. It takes less than 2 minutes to review the show in iTunes and that’s the best way for people to find us.

• In iTunes just search for Simple Life Together…
• Click on the green “Simple Life Together” picture…
• Scroll down to Customer Reviews where you’ll see “Write a Review”
• Click on”Write a Review”
• Write your review…
• Click “Submit”! It’s as easy as that and it really helps to get the word out about the the show.  Thanks for doing that.  

If you know someone else who might enjoy the journey too, send them a link to SimpleLifeTogether.com

Connect with us on Twitter, I’m @DanielHayes and Vanessa is @GetSimplifized. You can find links to our Twitter and Google Plus profiles on the left side of the home page.

Be sure to leave comments below, send us a voicemail from the little microphone icon on the right side of the page, or you can go “old school” and email us!  Comments, questions, thoughts, ideas, suggestions…they’re all welcome and we’d love to hear from you!

So, here are other links we mentioned in the show:

Karen Meade of LetsGetOrganizing

Clutterer’s Anonymous

Institute for Challenging Disorganization

Peter Walsh: It’s All Too Much

National Association of Professional Organizers

GetSimplifized Links:

The Truth About Clutter

Lots of YouTube Videos to help you get rid of clutter and get organized!

Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and leave a review in the iTunes store! It helps others find the show! Thank you!

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Our Edit & Forget It Challenge and The Power of Saying No

Happy New Year!

Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and leave a review in the iTunes store! It helps others find the show! Thank you!

Special Announcement: Especially for listeners in and around San Antonio/Austin, TX

Our friend and colleague Karen Meade of Let’s Get Organizing will be hosting her annual Organize and Energize workshop. It’s on Saturday, January 19th, 2013 from 9:30 Am to 12:30 PM at TriPoint on North St Mary’s, in San Antonio, Texas. There’s a great lineup of speakers talking about organization, meal planning, health and fitness and Dan will be there talking about tech. For more information check out LetsGetOrganizing.com or Facebook.com/LetsGetOrganizing. Hope to see you there!

Main Topics  

Dan’s Topic: Introducing the Edit & Forget It Challenge! 2013 Fewer Things in 2013 

We’re kicking things up a notch right off the bat this year and really stretch our commitment to simplifying our lives. We’re challenging ourselves with what we call Edit & Forget It, 2013 Fewer Things in 2013. We’d love it if you’d consider joining us!

• We know this is a lofty goal and certainly won’t be for everyone
• Our true focus is eliminating many things we truly don’t need any longer and reach a point where we have what we need, appreciate it, and be able to enjoy some margin in our lives
• We don’t really have “clutter” in our home since Vanessa is a Professional Organizer, so eliminating 2013 things will be a real challenge!

It’s good to have an accountability buddy when challenging yourself…and all of you that listen to the show will be our accountability buddies to keep us on track!

• We’d like to be your accountability buddies, too!
• If you’d like to join us for the challenge, just sign up on our Edit & Forget It List. Here’s a direct link to that list on SimpleLifeTogether.com.
• Those who sign up will will get emails from us from time to time as a little bit of encouragement along the way
• No, you won’t get a trophy at the end of the Challenge, but in the end you’ll probably have a place to put one if you did!

Some Background:

• We were amazed when we heard it quoted in a presentation that the average American home has around 300K things in it!
• In raw numbers, 2013 things is just under 1% of that! That doesn’t sound like much of a challenge does it?
• Truth be told, we think that figure counts each and every item
  • So if you had a 250 piece Lego set it counts as 250 pieces
  • That doesn’t seem too realistic to us and kinda makes getting rid of 2013 things no challenge whatsoever
  • So we established some simple guidelines for ourselves

• To eliminate 2013 things from our home in 2013 the numbers work out, rounded up, anyways, like this:
  • About 6 things per day
  • About 40 things per week
  • About 170 per month

• We’re also including going paperless because that is a great way to eliminate paper clutter from your home.
  • So, you may want to re-listen to Episode 6 and our interview with Brooks Duncan of DocumentSnap.
  • We’ll put some links in the show notes for the scanner we use and the one Brooks recommends.

Edit & Forget It Guidelines: Note: We may have to come up with some additional guidelines for ourselves along the way based on any new discoveries or unanswered questions we run into. But we’re starting with these:

• Things that normally go together or that you originally purchased together count as one, e.g. a pair of shoes counts as one (not 2), a deck of cards counts as one (not 52) a puzzle counts as one (not 150).
• Donated packaged food counts, thrown out food does not.
• Scanned documents count as one original if disposed of. A document is a document whether it is a single page by itself or a ten page document. Each scanned document counts as one item.
• Things that we don’t ordinarily keep in our home (like junk mail, catalogs, etc) don’t count for us as we recycle those immediately upon receipt.
  • If you typically keep them in your home, then you should count them!
• We made some spreadsheets and we’re going to track our progress along the way. We’re tracking:
  • What we sell (and logging the actual sale amount)
  • What we donate (and logging the market value)
  • What we give away
  • What we discard
  • And what we digitize!
• So, these are our guidelines. We’d love it if you’d join us! Feel free to use our guidelines “as is” or adapt them for your needs.
• That covers the Challenge itself, but besides the additional margin it brings us we also hope it helps us refine our process of simplifying so we can make it sustainable and repeatable and be able to pass it on to folks like you! So, we’re hoping it reveals some inspiration for future shows.

So again, if you’d like to join us, just click on the Edit & Forget It box on the left side of website or follow this direct link: Edit & Forget It Signup

• I’ve made some no-frills Google Docs spreadsheets that you can use if you’d like to track your items and I’ll email you those links after you sign up.

That’s it…Edit & Forget it! 2013 Fewer Things in 2013!

Vanessa’s Topic: The Power of Saying No

Our “Edit and Forget It. Challenge” is a perfect lead in to the Power of Saying No…we’re essentially going to be saying “no” to allowing things and clutter to dominate our lives.

The Power of Saying No will be helpful with your New Year’s Resolutions. I talked last week about how to make your resolutions a success and I think this topic piggy-backs on that….it’s simply another tool to help you along the way in accomplishing your goals and sticking to your priorities.

So….why is it so hard to say NO? It seems as we get older, we somehow adopt this notion that we have to say YES to everything and everyone. Why is that? Maybe we fear being politically incorrect or being labeled a non-team player. Maybe we don’t like to disappoint. Maybe we feel guilty or obligated to help others. Maybe we seek constant approval from co-workers, friends, family and even strangers. Maybe we’re afraid of “perceived” outcomes….getting fired, losing friends, upsetting someone, or missing out on a great opportunity. Or perhaps we feel that in order to attain the status of SUPERMAN, SUPERHUMAN or SUPERMOM we have to say YES to everything and everyone.

Well, I challenge you to think a little differently about this. NO is a little, two-letter, one-syllable word that all by itself can be a complete sentence. It’s a pretty powerful word…and at times, even more powerful than the word YES.

Saying NO can have a profound impact on your life.

Here are some benefits of learning to say NO at the right times in your life:

• It allows you to be honest with yourself and with others. When you say YES to do something or merely agree with what someone said, even when its contradictory to how you feel, you are in a sense lying to that person and to yourself.
• It helps you keep your priorities in check. If your priority is spending time with family…don’t volunteer for something that takes time away from them. If your priority is saving money…don’t spend it needlessly on consumer products. If your priority is losing weight…don’t give in to that greasy burger and fries.
• It let’s people know you’re in charge of your time…and no one else.
• It can be very empowering. You’re doing what you want and not being controlled by other peoples’ agendas. If you let people interrupt or you take on tasks practically every time someone asks you to…then folks will think its ok do do that to you all the time!
• It prevents you from having feelings of resentment caused by doing things you’d rather not be doing.
• It keeps you from doing or saying things you’ll regret. Peer pressure comes to mind here…
• It helps you avoid needless stress and procrastination. When you say YES to do something you really don’t want to do, you end up pushing it off and avoiding it until you absolutely have to do it, causing you unnecessary stress and anxiety.
• It helps you earn self-respect and respect from others. By saying no, you’re respecting your time, your priorities and your life. Folks are drawn to confidence and when you are confident about saying no…people will inevitable respect that.

Now, I know you can’t say NO to everything and everyone and I’m certainly not suggesting you be a jerk about it. There is the notion of “tact.” You still need to be tactful and respectful when saying no. I also suggest you start to change your mindset about saying NO and start to view it in a more positive light.

So, here are a few tips and ideas to think about to help make saying NO a little bit easier:

• Stop worrying about other people’s feelings as your first priority. Sure, you should be aware and sensitive to feelings…but don’t allow their feelings to trump your priorities if your priorities are that important.
• A big area to start saying NO is in extended family and friend obligations (not your spouse and kids). Although acquaintances, family and friends are wonderful and you may love helping them, sometimes they can be the biggest culprit to taking advantage of your time.
• Another area can start saying no to is over-volunteering. You don’t have to be the homeroom mom, den mother, PTA member, HOA member all at once!
• Re-frame your words. Instead of saying, “I’ll get back to you” or “I can’t” say, “Let me think about it”, “That doesn’t fit into my schedule”, “I won’t” or “I’ve decided not to.”
• Be cognizant of your response and body language. Look the person in the eye, be brief in your response, use eye contact, have a calm yet firm voice, don’t use closed-off body language (hands on hips, crossed arms, rolling your eyes), don’t invade their personal space and don’t use inappropriate facial expressions (serious but not angry).

There. Not too difficult, huh? Ok, it’s a lot easier said than done but with a little practice you’ll feel a lot more comfortable with the idea of saying NO. Again, you don’t have to say NO to everything, but I’d highly consider saying it a little more often, especially if you’re feeling overextended and stressed out.

So, give it a try yourself and see just how empowering it can be. I bet you’ll start to feel a little less stressed and finally in control of your time…your priorities…and your life.

The “Thing” Segment:

Dan:  Begin with Changing Yourself

As I was reading through my daily blog feeds I came across this simple post from Dan Miller at 48Days.com. Dan’s post sparked my memory of my short time in the UK and also gave me some inspiration as I had the Edit & Forget It Challenge on my mind when I read his post. So, Dan wrote:

When we talk about change, here’s a good starting point: This is an inscription on the tomb of an Anglican Bishop that reads:

“When I was young and free and my imagination had no limits, I dreamed of changing the world.

As I grew older and wiser I discovered the world would not change –

So I shortened my sights somewhat and decided to change only my country, but it too seemed immovable.

As I grew into my twilight years, in one last desperate attempt, I settled for changing only my family, those closest to me,

But alas, they would have none of it.

And now I realize as I lie on my deathbed, if I had only changed myself first,

Then by example I might have changed my family,

From their inspiration and encouragement I would then have been able to better my country,

And who knows, I might have even changed the world.”

I think that can hit home with many of us. So, while we can talk about how we’re frustrated with the consumer-focused society we all live in, working on our simple life together and starting the change with ourselves is probably a lot more productive and impactful.

        Vanessa: I LOVE Google Calendars!

Just yesterday I was on the phone with a colleague of mine…we do a lot of work projects together from managing big residential moves to small business organizing. Anyhoos…she’s in Portland on vacation, I’m here in San Antonio and we’re working with a client that’s moving from Kansas City to San Antonio…and we’ll be responsible for unpacking and getting the client’s family set up in an 11,000sq ft home!

Well, I love my google calendar because as I was talking to my colleague I was able to look at the calendar she and I share as well as my husbands calendar, my kids’ calendars, and my personal calendar to make sure there weren’t any conflicts. It was beautiful! I love having multiple calendars that I can share and that automatically sync to my iPhone and iPad. Yay!

Feedback:

We received a very nice comment on the website from Farnoosh Brock from ProlificLiving.com. Farnoosh wrote: You guys, I am just blown away by what you are doing here. The content is TOP NOTCH, bar none! I love it. I have just started listening to your podcast and love the both of you and how you interact. Keep it up and I’ll be sure to review it on iTunes. Wishing you both a very happy new year.

Well thanks Farnoosh and Happy New Year to you too! Folks, you should check out Farnoosh’s site over at ProlificLiving.com…she has tons of great info and her Daily Interaction Podcast is fantastic, too. You’ll be glad you did!

Closing Thoughts:

Once again, Happy 2013 and we hope this year is a great year for simplifying your life. If you haven’t started yet or have just been thinking about it, now is a great time to start. We’re blessed to be able to share some ideas and some of our experiences as we journey toward a simpler life in the modern world and we’d like to hear some of your experiences, too.

It sure would help if you you took just 2 minutes to review the show in iTunes. The more positive reviews we get, the higher the show is in the listings and that’s how people find us.

If you like the show, please subscribe and consider giving us a good review in iTunes. It takes less than 2 minutes to review the show in iTunes and that’s the best way for people to find us.

• In iTunes just search for Simple Life Together…
• Click on the green “Simple Life Together” picture…
• Scroll down to Customer Reviews where you’ll see “Write a Review”
• Click on”Write a Review”
• Write your review…
• Click “Submit”! It’s as easy as that and it really helps to get the word out about the the show.  Thanks for doing that.  

If you know someone else who might enjoy the journey too, send them a link to SimpleLifeTogether.com

Connect with us on Twitter, I’m @DanielHayes and Vanessa is @GetSimplifized. You can find links to our Twitter and Google Plus profiles on the left side of the home page.

Be sure to leave comments below, send us a voicemail from the little microphone icon on the right side of the page, or you can go “old school” and email us!  Comments, questions, thoughts, ideas, suggestions…they’re all welcome and we’d love to hear from you!

So, here are other links we mentioned in the show:

Karen Meade of LetsGetOrganizing

Dan Miller’s Post

Farnoosh Brock at Prolific Living

Brooks Duncan at DocumentSnap

GetSimplifized Links:

The Power of Saying No

Google Calendars

Other Google Programs

Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and leave a review in the iTunes store! It helps others find the show! Thank you!